This was sent in by Conan, and features new characters, complete with some rather nice descriptions - see below. It appears that Kaspall is getting populated behind my back, with is pretty cool.

BLUETOOTH
Bluetooth's stay at the O.W.R. has not been easy. His fellow intakes prefer to keep their distance from him in case he were to accidentally rip off someone's limbs and eat them. The staff did not help matters by assembling the intakes in an effort quash this prejudice. Anyone who had not heard of ogres had become informed on the topic. The lecture ended: "It doesn't matter how many people he ate before he came here. This is a new start!"
That was a really rotten thing to say about a poet.

ALLOY
Alloy has always lived in a world of artificial intelligences and high speed data communications. A time and place without such things is inconceivable to him. All he asked for was the means to perform according to specifications, so why did they foist this fleshy behemoth off on him?

MS. WILLOUGHBY
She is certain she is being punished for her sins. She is not sure what she did, but she suspects that applying for employment at the O.W.R. must be a major transgression. In her hubris, she had assumed that she could change things from the inside, helping the unfortunate castaways from other worlds become well-adjusted citizens.
Ms. Willoughby's experiences have made her a veteran of the O.W.R.'s pitfalls as well as ground down her youthful idealism. Her main ambition is to make it through yet another day.